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Mirror Mirror – is that me?

April 30, 2012

A peek in the old mirror and we catch a glimpse of our changing reflection.

That is what happened when I met with an dear coworker for lunch today , after a month of being at home — Away from work

And in her I saw a reflection of old me — Tired hollow eyes. Like the flame was put out.
For first 40 minutes , over rushed bites of food, she gave me scoop of workplace, politics, games, dramas, challenges and small victories. I watched her talk, move and then asked again, you did not answer me — How are you doing? She paused and was quite for several minutes — well I am there and making through, you know.

We ate in silence for next several minutes.

I shared with her my journey of past four weeks. The surge of energy, the moments of doubts, being extremely uncomfortable in this new space of not knowing what is the big grand plan — but the serenity of putting together several small next steps.

when in years and years of working we start defining ourself with what with do – it is very uncomfortable to come up with quick introduction of self.
For someone who was always moving at 200 miles in hour, juggling 10 balls in the air — the pace of living is new, refreshing, challenging and oddly comforting

I shared with her my unconventional plan for summer
– Travel to Himalayas for Exchange program
– Take kids to Golden temple and explore the history
– Explore Ghalib’s home town – Lukhnow
– Back waters of Kerela

Why am I spending my savings on my bucket list — well because I am going with my gut — and just living. I still don’t know what I want to do when I come back

I know that I do not want to be in corporate rut
I want to do something more meaningful — what that is time will unfold and I am (getting ) Ok with non knowing 🙂

For now I look forward to 10 weeks of travel, exploration, photography, journaling and enjoying kids and family.
Sometimes we have to step away from the life as we know it to start living again.

As she hugged me — She endearingly said — Ugh you even smell happy 😀

In that moment I saw the longing of old me

Mirror mirror — was that me?

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