Careful ! Spiritual Pride Ahead

We are awakened to the our desire for an inward journey in many different ways. For some it is a silent whisper within, others are influenced by surroundings or perhaps even dragged into it.

What ever the instigator, when we open ourselves to the blissful experience of  bring turned towards the immense and powerful silence that exists within. We are esctatic, overcome with joy.

But then we feel the urge to share that joy( or dare I say, brag our advancement , our “accomplishment”).

I recently experienced such dilemma. As a wanna be meditator, I have dabbled in and out of extended phases where in I have found myself connected with the higher energy. There also have been other times wherein I am filled with layers and layers of excuses, defenses and reasons as to “Why I don’t believe in certain form of meditation” , “My dharma is Karam Yog, I do not need to sit and meditate” “I am a high energy person, I do not have the patient or the skills to be still” . Truth be told these are my defense against my deep rooted fears. Conversely, when I do succeed in committing to bliss, my ego gets such a boost that I want to measure my success. Label it and share it.

Moving from one form of ego driven identity to this shiny new mask of “spiritually elevated” is nothing more than the dance of Maya.

Words from Surrender Experience by Michael Singer resonate with me well ” I did’t want to regain strength based on another mental concept of myself. Whenever I noticed thoughts being stitched together to create a new “me”. I knocked the chair out from under them. it was very painful, but I was willing to let it all go if it feed me to explore beyond”

For this new found ego boost did take me away from purity of the experience. One that can only be felt in a state of complete surrender and in unwavering presence in NOW (not the analysis of past or hopes/desires for future)

Tibetan Buddhist Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche said: “Meditation is based on three fundamental factors — First, not centralizing inward; Second, not having any longing to become higher; and Third, becoming completely identified with here and now.”

What a humbling reminder to hear and watch the ego self do its dance – but gently avert that energy back to the intent — pure unconditional surrender.

My your day be filled with bliss and wonder.