I don’t want to have lived

I don’t want to have lived,

I want to have been alive.

I want to have mattered.

I want to have created a legacy.

For me, for those before me and ones that come after me.

One that unabashedly owns the living, the loving, the loosing and the becoming.

One that celebrates the possibilities, the chasing, the falling and the making.

One that humms her music, even in the chaos of their noise.

One that knows to find herself, even in the mayhem of being everyone else.

I want to have been limitless,

In my potential and my pursuit.

I want to have basked in the light of those that I salute.

I want to have ignited that fire in those that I include.

I want to have known love, been in love, consumed by love and become love.

I want to have flowed gloriously in my contradictions and my imperfectly perfect trepidations.

I want to have embraced my shadows and become my light.

I don’t want to have lived,

I want to have been ALIVE!